Kidney Cancer UK saved my mental health

Hello, my name is Amelia, and I want to share my story about how Kidney Cancer UK saved my mental health through its free counselling services and support line. 

In 2020, my dad began feeling unwell. By March, he had lost his appetite, which was really worrying as it was completely out of character for him. In June, he went for an endoscopy and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. From the beginning, it was clear the cancer was advanced. At 77, his age, along with the weight loss, made things even more concerning for me and my family.

The pandemic added another layer of isolation and worry. I felt so alone and unsure of what to do next. Desperate for support, I searched online for kidney cancer charities and came across Kidney Cancer UK. From the start, they were the only ones offering us the help we needed.

Due to the pandemic, my dad wasn’t allocated a cancer nurse, and the news of his diagnosis was delivered in person from 2 metres away – a fight we had won, as the doctor initially wanted to break the news via video call. Shortly after, a CT scan revealed that my dad had blood clots on his lungs. Without us knowing, my dad was urgently called into A&E, where he was told there was nothing more the doctors could do. He was sent home with a “Do Not Resuscitate” order. The way this news was delivered by the NHS was shockingly unsupportive, and it breaks my heart that my dad didn’t receive the support he deserved at such a critical time.

With his kidney cancer now at stage 4 and terminal, I once again turned to Kidney Cancer UK for guidance. Their support line was an absolute lifeline. At the same time, I was grappling with my own health scare, as an underlying autoimmune disease was triggered by the stress. I had to undergo CT scans myself, terrified that I too could have cancer, especially after witnessing my dad’s rapid decline.

The information I received from Kidney Cancer UK’s support line was far more detailed and helpful than what I got from any of the nurses. They referred me to their free counselling service, where I connected with a counsellor who was incredibly supportive. There were times I would call her from outside the hospice in tears, and her empathy and advice were invaluable.

When my dad passed away, it was an overwhelming time. A few days later, as I was clearing out his flat, I completely broke down. Once again, Kidney Cancer UK was there for me. I can honestly say that their support saved my mental health. They provided me not just with emotional support, but also practical advice on how to care for a loved one with terminal cancer – something my family and I had never experienced before.

If I could offer one piece of advice to anyone going through a kidney cancer journey – whether you’re the patient, a carer, or a loved one – please reach out to Kidney Cancer UK. It’s easy to feel like your worries don’t matter because you’re not the one with the terminal disease, but as a carer, your mental health is just as important. Talking about your concerns is vital. A problem shared really is a problem halved.

Supporting Kidney Cancer UK is something I’m passionate about, as their free services not only helped me but also likely saved the NHS resources by providing me with mental health support outside the system. In honour of my dad, I want to raise awareness of this incredible charity in the hope that someone else in need will find the same help I did.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story,
Amelia